AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just fucking signed up for all these different rings.... I had the codes up and BAM! Computer goes retarted. SO! If I don't have your code up yet diary ring people I am sorry please remind me if I dont have yours up within the next time I update this. Thanks Oh yes this section was added 3 hours after the entry below >>>>>>>

Why is it so difficult for people to spell?

I know I have screwed up sometimes. seriously though, argh. NEVERMIND!

I hope Andrew is ok at the doctors appt. tomorrow I love him so much and if he isn't at my house by 12:30 tomorrow i'm going to throw up because I am so worried and become distraught because I wont know what to do.

My head hurts.

My blood results came back from the doctor and apparently I have some really bad Bacteria in my blood that could be causing my stomach problems. He is making me take all this different medication so I am now on 3 different pills. I still haven't started birth control however.

That will be interesting.

I have been joining a lot of webrings lately. I keep getting welcomes and such. It's nice and friendly =) Don't worry web ring people I put your codes up right away ;) I need to get a couple though because I was accepted into a few of them. I am trying to get into all of the ones that describe me best and all that jazz.

Why am I so damn fucking happy lately.

That's disgusting I am acting like a stupid girl. STUPID GIRLS!

Hendrix, my poor puppy isn't being all that healthy and Abby just keeps getting worse. Blood is all over the carpet in the main entry living room. Yeh, I know it's gross.

I want to cry. I really don't know why. Everything is so bad. I just keep going, 'IT'S GREAT!' in my head. I'm so numb to almost everything now, that things REALLY don't seem THAT bad to me anymore. I KNOW things are bad, I just ignore it. I move on.

I feel worhtless. Not having a job doesn't help. I hate having to owe people money and I owe my parents money. No, it isn't my fault I owe them money. It is their own, but seriously i hate it that I can't buy Andrew or Michelle things just out of the blue because they've done so much for me. We always even one another off and my side is gettin heavy.

True, I don't go anywhere without Michelle so her paying me 5$ for gas is not bad. I just, argh. I feel worthless. I can't make Andrew feel better either. =( My poor honey is so sick =(

I miss KoC, I miss Jon, I miss Emily, I miss Steve-o, I miss Jamie, I miss Theo, I miss Baggage, I miss Jon Gooding, I miss Bri, I miss Natalie and Heidi, I miss Kent, I miss Chris, I miss Jaymo, I miss PDP, I miss Jake, I miss Davie, I miss Chewie, I miss Jason, I miss Pat, I miss the other Pat, I miss Matt all of the Matts, I miss Jen, I miss Jonah, I miss Brantley, I miss Twinkie, I miss Justin, I miss Cassidi, I miss Pat, I miss Bryan, I miss Jacob, I miss Mike, I miss Paul, I miss Dorian, I miss afro Dan, I miss Liz, I miss Colin, I miss meagan, I miss Andrea Roos, I miss Derek (from walgreens), I miss Andrea M., I miss Tina, I miss Simon, I miss Peter, I miss Laura, I miss Adam Demming, I miss Tony, I miss Andy, I miss Michelle, I miss Ben, I miss Chris, I miss Heidi, I miss Nick T., I miss Tia, I miss sandman, I miss Gus Gus, Andrew Johnson, I miss Josh Johnson, I miss Ike, I miss Jesse, I miss Blue Jesse, I miss my cool tall manager from walgreens, I miss Wanita and Dawn from Pizza Hut, I miss the cool pharmacy guy from Walgreens, I miss Jake B., FUCK! I MISS MY ANDREW TOO!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm not sad, just really fucking stressed out. Everything is in such a deep fucking hole and since I ignored everything for so long that fucking hole is going to be hard to dig myself out of.

FUCK!

song listening to/ Stuck in head: Pearl Jam "Alive" 'ohhhhhh I IIIII Im still alive hey I IIIII oh Im still alive'