I should be in school right now but I think the birth control pills are not good for me. It smells like matches in my house and no one has burned anything for a while. Unless it is just my hair that smells like smoke.

Argh.

I fucking hate high school. Who the fuck doesn't. What a waste. I swear it is just something to keep the kids from thinking to much and having ideas and such. You know so the teenagers don't take over the world. Fuck, when I have kids... they best go to school. I fucking hate teenagers we're all emotional and shit. Fuck AHHHH.

Why am I so moody. Where is Andrew!? Damnit! AHHHHHH!!!!

Abby is doing much better. Thank God. Wow would i have loved to lose another dog right now! ;) FUCK YOU "GOD"!

I wanna get so fucking stoned right now. Hey...my dad has his stash downstairs. hehehehehe. I mean what!? What stash!? My dad is clean and a respectable adult male! **jack off motion**

I just had a horrible urge. Andrew should seriously be here right now. I quit cutting a while ago and right now, that's what I wanna do. I wanna fucking stab myself a million times and see what happens. (gee Andrea ya think you would die!? NO WAY!) FUCK ME! I want Andrew! Why am I being like this!? **breath** I can do it. I just haven't cut in such a long time. I just wanna cut and cut. FUCK. If you know me and you see me the next time...you actually do see me.... punch me in the fucking stomach as hard as you can. OHKAY!? No, don't do that...cause if I do cut that is probably where I will do it and that would hurt really bad. But hey, it already would hurt right!?

I'm fucking crazy.

I shouldn't cut again..I still love Andrew...and I don't want him to leave me.

Im gonna go to bed I need sleep. Yep that's exactly what I need. I just need sleep. Someone...tell Andrew to get a hold of me as soon as possible. I miss my lovable boy. I wanna squish him and never let him go. Oh yes and if any of you plan on dying soon say hello to my dog and my grandpas and my aunt donna. I promise I will say hello to someone for you if I die first.

Song stuck in head/ listening to: Pearl Jam "Alive"