Rosemount seems to be going alright. Beside the big idiots that still think the word "Gay" is hilarious. I think I can manage.

Growing up has seemed to be the big issue as of lately. Everyone is at different maturity levels and people think a lot differently. This is not a bad thing however. This just means people are becomming their own person.

Instead of friendships, relationships seem to be taking course. Everyone's significant other is whom they care about most. I am not being hipocritical in this statement because I know it stands true for me as well.

The entire fact that I am graduating early moving out in 6 months turning 18 in 6 months and I am going to be holding a full time job while trying to pay rent and feed myself... freaks the living shit out of me. I will be doing all of this while some of my friends will still be on high-school level. Holding a steady bf/gf and going to college while living at home while their parents still feed them and what not.

Some might be like myself but those fall short....so, I become different. An outcast if you will. Which I already am. I'm not going to school where the majority of my friends go. Why should they waste their time with me? I'm just another person they can let fly by in their life. That one girl that graduated early.

Heh.

My mind is spinning right now and when I look at the screen for a while it turns blury. I spent a while in Andrew's room crying on him. I'm really worried about the future.

I really wasn't worried that much until everyone else was. I tried explaining things to Andrew but, shit just doesn't make sense when I say it.

I did tell him this however.

The world seems to be so fucking selfish. Everyone, no one cares if someones dog dies. They say "oh I am sorry" then that is pretty much all you hear. Or they say "shitty" or "sucks to be you" or you could be the idiots at rosemount and say "oh dude you're kidding? Yeh, did you hear about so and so got busted by the cops. Im so glad it wasnt me."

I spent so many of my years caring for people. So damn many. The years that made me angry the most were while I was trying to help andrew and we were best friends people were shoving shit in my face, calling me a whore, telling me i lead people on... fuck them.

Damnit. I need to stop thinking about this. Considering none of you even know what I am talking about because im not saying all of what i said to andrew. #1 reason being I dont want to and #2 reason being this is already long enough.

I miss hanging out with friends when they didnt have girlfriends or boyfriends. It cuts down extremely.

Andy&Michelle

Lauren&Jon

Steve-o& whatever her name is

Chewie&Dan -even though it started a long time ago when she was dating Dave

Aaron&Michelle

Peter&Laura

Emily&Andy

Colin&Liz

Sure, I hang out with both of the people in the couple but it still cuts down to how much I hang out with them and I know....Andrew and I are together non stop too. I know how it is. All I am saying is it fucking sucks. I also know that if someone was like "hey lets hang out" I would be like "yay! ok when?" I would try to see whats going on. I may ask if its ok if Andrew comes but hell....tell me no. I don't care. He doesn't care. I would hang out with Jon and Lauren but there are the times where I would want just Jon and I to hang out. Christ.

ARGH. I dunno really where I am going with this. Im sorry for all of you readers.

Song listening to/Stuck in head: "No rain" Blind Melon ~ This song reminds me of Jon Gooding =( I miss Jon Gooding a lot =(