I can't even believe people lately. Acting like they are my friends and they aren't. I hate the fact that when I cry they turn their backs yet. I accept that and still continue to be their friend. I understand that some people just don't want to deal with other peoples shit. Yet, when they cry and their fucking world falls apart, I am the biggest bitch for not reading their fucking mind and being right by their side.

I am sick of the circle of rage. The people who once gave up everything for one another to be friends are now doing everything they can to stay away from those people. Splitting up and taking sides. As if the person never made them happy in the first place. The times that were shared being friends are great. Yet, hating them will take half as long. So the question is... If you are happy with someone as a friends for 4 years and do everything you can to get worked up about the person you hate for two years... Why wouldn't the good win over the bad?

Does anyone understand this question?

I'm sick of so called friends saying "what are you talking about!? We love you!" Or something to that extent when I have heard rumors upon rumors that those same people hated me.

Who do I believe? There is no one to trust upon these haters anymore. Maybe non of them hate me right now, but as soon as I physically hang out with one of them, the other half that has split apart will hate me.

Example: Bob and his homies are friends with Sam and his homies. They get into a fight. Now, here is andrea... Friends with all homies including Bob and Sam. If she talks to Sam and his homies, Bob will hate Andrea and Andrea will become one of the homies that Bob and his homies hate. I don't want this to happen therefor... Andrea's decision is to try as hard as possible..... to not give a shit and still be friends with all. Cause honestly, they have all helped me at one point or another somehow, wether they know it or not. Even when the turned their backs on me they helped me. So, why not let me turn my backs on them. We will see. Who will understand my position before thinking about themselves first. Who will still be my friend.

I dunno

Im done

Song listening to/stuck in head:

Authority Zero "One more Minute"