I am at Taylors again. He's upset cause he cant find his coat. I have no clue wear it could be but I wish I was magical like that guy in the movie Dreamcatcher so I could find it for him. Then I would see the ends of his mouth form upward possibly and see his cute ass smile that I adore so much.

I have an interview tomorrow and I hope I get the job. Granted Claires isn't great but if they pay enough to be in a pink box all day, I don't care. I hate Pink.

I want to talk to old friends still. I miss them and have been trying to talk with them but it all fails. Everyone thinks im some drunken stoner now a days and despite what they might hear or read thats all they see. So, no its not their fault for thinking that I don't give a shit but it just feels as though if they cared that much wouldn't they come to me about it? Maybe they just dont care that much and that is my simple answer.

I had a good weekend and this week is going a lot better than even the weekend itself. I'm so happy with Taylor and I feel good. Just in genuine truth I feel good. OH NO! I let the cat out of the bag. Someone must ruin that now. I'm sure. You can only feel so good for such little time it seems,then to have it all come crashing down in a spiral of doom.

Taylor is playing AFI on Bass and its making me content with just sitting here. His voice is soothing to me. I just sit and feel so god damn content listening to him.

My lip ring hurt my gums today when I gave Taylor a very tight hug and jammed my face into his shoulder. meh.

I have seriously been thinking about quitting smoking. I'm kind of sick of it but I know that if I get jammed in a pink room with fuzzy cutsie wootsie sparkly things I will probably want to inject fucking nicotine into my system.

I went and saw Josh Johnson at Subway tonight and no matter what that kid will get you in such a good mood. He has such a good heart. Such generosity and greatness. He is Josh. I swear he can do no wrong cause he's Josh and that's just the way it is. Even if you're in a good mood it will be better. Just believe me.

I want to watch a movie. I don't know what movie but I watched finding nemo at around 530 in the morning and I was very impressed with pixar. It's cute. I was into it. You should have seen me. You would never think my ass would be sitting there watching finding nemo and being sad that the poor clown fish had a gimp fin.Poor Nemo.

My uncle moved into my house in Richfield with me and my dad and it makes me not only extremely enraged with anger but sad as well. I can't get away from his drunk pathetic ass ever since my aunt died of lung cancer. He's a fucker. I wish I had the patience and whatever to explain it to you but explaining how he is isn't even near what he really is and he just fucking makes me angry thinking about anything to do with him. Fucking ass hole.He's such a derelict.

**no idea that im glaring at the computer monitor because im so filled with anger towards him**

Well, I think I have updated enough. I'm gonna go home and watch a movie or sleep.. I think thats what its called. Yeh, so everyone enjoy there night and sweet dreams to all.

song listening to /stuck in head: Pantera "This Love"

*** I have no idea with this song is in my head it just got there and its stuck. Meh. I love Pantera.***

lyrics ** I very much so ENJOY this song strongly suggested to anyone***

"If ever words were spoken

Painful and untrue

I said I loved but I lied

In my life

All I wanted

Was the keeping

Of someone like you

As it turns out

Deeper within me

Love was twisted and pointed at you

Never ending pain, quickly ending life --

(Chorus)

You keep this love, thing, child, toy

You keep this love, fist, scar, break

You keep this love

I'd been the tempting one

Stole her from herself

This gift in pain

Her pain was life

And sometimes I feel so sorry

I regret this the hurting of you

But you make me so unhappy

I'd take my life and leave love with you

I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself --

(Chorus)

No more head trips"